Too Hot For Ebay! The Offical Unicorn Turds Webpage!


Unicorn Turds come in 4 different sizes. Fun, Regular, King, and Family Fun Bag! Makes a Great Gift or Grift!

Pick Your Size!

Although the origins of the unicorn is shrouded in myth and legend, the actually existence of the fantastic beast is now a bonda fide fact! In this sad mundane world, don’t we all need to have some magic; don’t we all need something to believe in?
Now you can have a small token of proof that there really are Unicorns, with your own specimens of unicorn manure. For thousands of years people believed that the single horn of the unicorn offered a number of positive and medicinal effects, but what is less known is the magical power of the animal’s scat. Those brave few that own actual unicorn wastes have found themselves in the best of all possible worlds, good fortune, and dreams made real, with a rapid increase in dial tone and personal charm! The result of a strict diet of Rainbows and pure love!

This collection of droppings has been passed down from generation to generation in my family, the only reason I am willing to part with them is due to a need for dramatic personal karmic balance, per the advise of my personal necromancer. Due to the high demand I am breaking up my collection - each turd is avaibale for only $5 each and is packaged in a custom made storage device (i.e. a full color printed paper hanger and mylar bag, with up to 4 staples!.)

Each turd is approximate one half to 4 inches in length and shines with the colors of the rainbow. A Certificate of Authenticity from the Center for Fantasticalogical Studies at the Robert Joseph Bell Institute for the Advancement of the Future, in Houston, Texas.

What are you waiting for? This rare item is priceless! Please note- under scientific examination the scat will be read as paper mache coated in glitter and epoxy, this happens because Scientist are notorious “Unbelievers” and their reactionary negative energy destroys any actual magic upon examination!

Pick Your Size!